Things still aren’t going well.
My ads haven’t really taken off how I want them to and all I can really think of is some kind of horrific apocalyptic scenario where I am going to end up destitute on the street.
And here’s the thing.
I know what my monthly outgoings are and I know how much I can afford to spend.
And I know what my bank balance will be (roughly) in 12 months time if I stick to my expenses and marketing and ZERO people buy.
And I still won’t be destitute.
But something is still holding me back.
I wrote before about imposter syndrome.
And that is definitely part of what’s holding me back.
Fear of putting myself out there.
That’s also part of it.
Being scarred by my past failures.
That’s part of it as well but until you try and fail a little bit, you won’t know what does or doesn’t work, you won’t find your voice and you won’t ever grow.
I, in a completely logical and rational state, know and acknowledge all of that.
Yet still, somehow I manage to let me mind go straight to the apocalypse scenario of being broke and living on the street.
It’s not just fear of failure though – it’s the fact that I am making myself fail slowly.
By running ads at a low budget, by putting off the things I’m a little bit scared of, I’m allowing myself to fail gradually.
This does a few things.
First of all it means that I am living under the constant shadow of feeling like a failure.
Second thing is that it is taking me a lot longer to find some light.
Goes hand in hand with the constant shadow (that was an unintended link by the way) but by holding back on trying things – while they’re within my budget especially – I am delaying finding more wins – which would build confidence and momentum.
And lastly as a result of both of them, I am constantly questioning whether I am good enough or whether I even have any idea what I’m doing.
The honest truth is I have experience of doing what I’m doing and I know how to do it.
So I do know what I’m doing.
But when I’m doing it for myself, rationality and objectivity both seem to go flying out the window.
And that is of course a problem.
Am I Meant To Be An Entrepreneur?
All of this makes me question whether being an entrepreneur is right for me.
I think when I get over my limiting beliefs, I will be relatively ok.
Until I come up against new challenges that make me doubt myself or bring up past scars.
But at the minute there is a huge wall there.
And it makes me wonder whether maybe a part-time entrepreneur or side hustle is what I should be aiming for.
It allows me some security and safety net of a job, which gives me some success (hopefully).
And it would allow me some scope to test and experiment and fail with my own ventures as a result.
So that’s kind of where I’m at.
Looking for work.
In the middle of a pandemic.
With fairly broad, generalist skills.
Is not ideal and isn’t likely to go smoothly.
If anything it’s going to lead to more feelings of failure probably.
At least for a time.
And I am currently dealing with that, which isn’t helping.
But I feel like having that safety net is going to help me move forward massively.
Make no mistake though. If I do succeed in my job hunt, that will always be my priority and my side hustle will be exactly that – a side hustle.
I have enough respect, professionalism and sense of propriety to know where my priorities should be.
The Business Update
Last week I spoke about my 7 projects.
- Brand 1 – Limitless Fitness
- Brand 2 – Fitter Body Plan
- Brand 3 – Web Business Labs
- Brand 4 – Easy Fitness Marketing
- Brand 5 – Happy Healthy Nerd
- Brand 6 – Super Simple Mode
- Brand 7 – AbhiG (You’re already here)
Since my last update, I have made zero progress in business growth but have made some progress in the foundation stuff.
Brand 1 has been my source of ad failure this week. Plus it is getting some organic posting still.
Brand 2 is just getting organic Instagram and Facebook posts for now.
Brand 3 is on hold because I need a re-think.
Brand 4 is going to start getting video content created so I can focus on content marketing and retargeting off the back of that.
Brand 5 is getting blog content and organic Instagram content.
Brand 6 has been given a pause. I figured out what I want to do with it though – see below.
Brand 7 isn’t really being promoted in any major proactive way. For now it is just my own personal blog.
So for now the plan is:
- Keep applying for jobs I am suited to. I have gotten through to the next stage on 2 applications so far.
- Make a judgement call on ad performance for Brand 1.
- Get videos done for Brand 4 and start promoting them.
- Keep the content production going for the brands that have some content production in place.
So I had another idea. Technically 3.
One is e-commerce with print on demand for a different niche that I am passionate about.
One is more traditional digital marketing.
And one is for something very local to me.
So when I map those out I could be looking at 10 ideas or brands in total.
The thing is that unless I get my act together, I’ll be allowing myself an agonisingly slow speed of failure which quite definitely will kill me.
If I thought I was failing with 7 brands slowly, wait and see how much that slows and becomes more painful with 10!