Saying Yes To Things You Don’t Want To Do
I’ve spoken before about how saying no to things you don’t want to do can and should be treated as an act of self-care.
But there will always be times when we have to do things we don’t want, that we know we’re going to struggle with, and that could be for any number of reasons.
Something painful or difficult that you know you need to do.
Something that’s going to make someone important to you very happy.
Or just being there for someone else.
Those are the kinds of main circumstances I can think of where I think saying yes to the things you don’t want to do would be quite common.
When We Say Yes
I think most of us have that level of care and consideration for others that we won’t just have a blanket statement of no, to anything we don’t want to do.
And we will sometimes say yes.
Saying yes and going through that can be both mentally and physically draining.
And it’s important you do yourself, a bit of kindness afterwards to help you get back to feeling your best.
So here’s what I do.
Why Did You Say Yes
First of all, remember why.
This is the main one.
Reminding myself why I said yes to doing something that I knew I wouldn’t really want to do.
I’m an introvert.
As I’ve mentioned before I have a very limited social battery. So going out and being around a load of new people that I’ve never met before is probably the most tiring feeling in the world.
It’s uncomfortable, it’s distressing and I will avoid it when I can.
But there will be times when it means a lot for someone else that I’m there and it’s important to them.
And just remembering that makes it much easier for me to just accept and be comfortable with whatever discomfort I’m feeling.
Always do your best to allow yourself some recovery.
Being there for others is great, but as I said, it is draining. It can really take its toll on your energy.
So when you do agree to do this kind of thing, it’s important to factor in your own mental and physical recovery and allow yourself some time for that.
Not only for yourself but there’s also not much point in doing something or being there for others if you’re going to end up being in a state, that’s going to make them regret it afterwards as well.
Set Boundaries As Much As You Can
Allow yourself some element of control and some kind of boundaries if you can.
Saying yes to some things doesn’t have to mean saying yes to everything.
A really good example is agreeing to go somewhere you don’t want to go.
But then trying to have like an agreed cap on an end time. So you at least have some level of control. It’s not just something that’s going to go on forever until someone else says it’s done. It’s something where you have a sort of set end point.
Something along those lines. It’s not going to be 100%workable, 100% of the time, but where you can get those kinds of boundaries in place or those kinds of controls in place, it’s going to help you a lot.
Suck It Up
As much as it pains me to say it, at times we will just have to suck it up and play the hand that we’re dealt.
Having to do things that we don’t necessarily want to do is kind of the nature of life and being human. And we do just have to accept that.
But within that, we can have some level of control over how we process things and how we navigate these kinds of situations, which can make it a much more – I don’t want to say pleasant – but a much more manageable experience to navigate.